Hey Arch, I’m doing well. Just been taking some time off to enjoy life. I just received my “Biblical Archaeology Review” in the mail. Very interesting article about “Virgin Births” in the Bible. YES I said births , plural ! As soon as I finish the article , I will comment on it here and on my blog.
well, it does seem Kathy is most likely pestering liberals at some other site. the way I normally find her is I google “bill keller liveprayer”, since she is the only person on the planet that posts anything about him in a positive light. that is how i found her here.
or google “reverse ignorance”, that is her thesis on liberals and she almost always posts that.
but now that i’m here, she is pretty much done here.
I have a question for ex-Christians who are married: Did your spouse follow along with your deconversion? If so or if not, what do you think were the reasons for this?
this morning I woke up and turned on the t.v. and caught the tail end of this documentary.
very disturbing.
young adults and children saying that they don’t even want to hear the scientific evidence because the word of god is true. and one thing that really got me ticked off was this idiotic mother home schooling her children and when she asked them what the meaning of “martyr” was, the dumb ass child answers, “the killing of Christians”.
the mother went so far as to teach her children to expect to be attacked for their religious beliefs.
lol, seriously, it has nothing to do with their insistence on being ignorant of facts.
then kenn hamm of the creationist museum comes along and says dinosaurs were created on day 6, and proof of dinosaurs living among humans was the tale of st George and the dragon.
goddamn these people are as dumb as a bag of rocks.
That one’s an easy one for me, Dave. Hubby never DID believe, he just went along with my idea (of bringing the kids up in the church) because he had been brought up in the same environment and felt (like me) that it was part of our responsibility as parents.
In fact, we just recently talked about something that happened to him in the mid-80’s. He had been asked to join the Masonic Lodge, and went out to a couple of meetings. He didn’t join and I assumed – at the time – that he hadn’t joined because of the fact that he worked away from home and probably wouldn’t be around for the meetings anyway. I was surprised to learn that, no, that hadn’t been the reason. He told me that one of the things he would have had to do was say that he believed in god. He said he just couldn’t do that, so he figured he wouldn’t make a good Mason.
Just to clarify, I never did refer to myself as a christian. To me, those were people who behaved far better than me. . all I did was TRY. (I admit, I could have tried a lot harder. . .)
I think it was fear. she didnt even want to discuss it.
Interestingly, she was never as devoted as I was either. never studied as much. it was easier for to skip on occasion, and that was something i had never even considered doing.
I may be wrong, but it seems to me that “coming out” as an atheist would be similar to coming out as gay.
I don’t advertize the fact because atheists have been so demonized. Though not to the same degree, I’m sure, there are similarities. I’ve equated the two.
did anyone feel the need to hide it from friends and families?
My family is not terribly religious so I don’t hide it from them. My friends all know that my opinions about certain aspects of Christianity have changed, but I haven’t “come out” to any of them. I’m sure they suspect. I’m probably on every prayer list in South GA.
wow, I can honestly say, I never for once thought about what it would be like to be a christian and then to become an atheist. I guess that’s because I never identified christian.
I can certainly empathize with those that have.
where I live, I’m surrounded by xtains, they are everywhere, and I overhear more atheist hate than I do gay hate.
one thing I do know, keeping secrets like that is very hard and not good for your soul.
best to come out.
one thing I do know, keeping secrets like that is very hard and not good for your soul.
best to come out.
It may be hard but it’s prudent. With the mindsets of many Christians being that we atheists are dishonest and untrustworthy because we’ve sold our souls to the devil, himself, it makes self employment as an accountant…well, who wants a dishonest accountant except at tax time?
@Carmen – How fortunate for you. Sounds like a good guy.
@Victoria – Very sorry to hear that.
@William
I’m in the same boat. My wife is still a Christian which makes for a very interesting situation. We get along great besides this issue. We have compromised in some areas like church attendance and the whole family goes every other week.
My deconversion was a difficult process for both my wife and myself. I had to resign from a leadership position at our church which made it very public. My pastors would not let me explain to the congregation why I no longer believed, but they were nice enough to read aloud a short letter I had written. We stopped going to that church and have been to several churches since. So we lost contact with a lot of good friends as a result. In some ways I think my wife felt betrayed because she had made a life long commitment to someone that was a believer and now she is married to an unbeliever. I’ve made a point of not trying to convince my wife of what I think and I completely avoid debating religious matters. This has its pros and cons.
Looking forward to it, KC – be sure and include a link to your blog.
(I don’t want you to know how stupid I am, I didn’t even know you HAD one! – Wait, did I say that out loud?)
a lot of the xtians I know, didn’t have nearly as much a problem with me being gay as when i told them i was an atheist.
then the shit hit the fan.
truly, it seems they do feel as if we are completely dishonest, immoral people. which isn’t always the case,
(well, in my case, yes, i am pretty immoral, but, I’m an exception, not the rule.) LOL.
my feeling is this, and it is just my feeling, but i think all gays and all atheists should come out.
it can have it’s difficulties, but in the long run,
those that stand up for who they really are, are the winners.
Dave, my heart goes out to you. I have read similar – many of them very heartbreaking -stories of ‘unequal yoking’. With all the challenges of marriage, who needs that one? I am sending virtual hugs.
my feeling is this, and it is just my feeling, but i think all gays and all atheists should come out.
I am fine with proclaiming my unbelief to family and friends. However, I would advise against doing so in professional circles. It can cost some people clients / customers / employment as Ruth pointed out.
my feeling is this, and it is just my feeling, but i think all gays and all atheists should come out.
it can have it’s difficulties, but in the long run,
those that stand up for who they really are, are the winners.
again, just my opinion.
I am slowly coming out, as I said. I’m just not shouting it from the rooftops. I’m voicing my opinions contrary to many of the held Christian beliefs. Just in general conversation I’ve “come out” that I subscribe to evolution, feel gay marriage should be legalized [and even polygamy *gasp*], etc. So my views aren’t exactly popular. It’s one thing to disagree about religious issues and another thing altogether to disagree about religion. I do recognize, since I used to be one of them, that their identity is wrapped up in being Christian. So they take it as a personal affront when someone questions that. My identity isn’t wrapped up in being atheist. I just am.
“goddamn these people are as dumb as a bag of rocks.”
My preferred phrase is “dumb as a bag of doorknobs,” which is why I called Kathy a doorknob early on in Kathy 1.
Thanks Carmen and William. This all happened several years ago now so it is not nearly as much of a challenge as it once was. It is kind of ironic, but our marriage is healthy, while several christian couples we know are divorcing.
oh, do you mean find Kathy? I’m not looking too hard for her, in fact,
i wasn’t looking for her this time, she just happened to pop up in conversation on another blog about her crooked pastor,
I’m no help whatsoever in your question about marriage. Divorce was sort of a precursor to my deconversion. My new partner(yes, we are married) is unabashedly agnostic, but he has no desire to even think about or discuss religion. He was raised irreligious and simply has no interest in it.
I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the blog Thoughs from a Sandwich but he’s written a couple of pretty good pieces on the topic. Confessions from a (former) YEC also has a few good posts on the subject as he shares your struggle. He and his wife seem to navigate it beautifully together.
Finding Truth 
(((hugs))) for Barry and for arch for sharing. Life!
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Hey Arch, I’m doing well. Just been taking some time off to enjoy life. I just received my “Biblical Archaeology Review” in the mail. Very interesting article about “Virgin Births” in the Bible. YES I said births , plural ! As soon as I finish the article , I will comment on it here and on my blog.
LikeLike
well, it does seem Kathy is most likely pestering liberals at some other site. the way I normally find her is I google “bill keller liveprayer”, since she is the only person on the planet that posts anything about him in a positive light. that is how i found her here.
or google “reverse ignorance”, that is her thesis on liberals and she almost always posts that.
but now that i’m here, she is pretty much done here.
anyway, have a nice day.
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I have a question for ex-Christians who are married: Did your spouse follow along with your deconversion? If so or if not, what do you think were the reasons for this?
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questioning Darwin: http://www.hbo.com/documentaries/questioning-darwin#/
this morning I woke up and turned on the t.v. and caught the tail end of this documentary.
very disturbing.
young adults and children saying that they don’t even want to hear the scientific evidence because the word of god is true. and one thing that really got me ticked off was this idiotic mother home schooling her children and when she asked them what the meaning of “martyr” was, the dumb ass child answers, “the killing of Christians”.
the mother went so far as to teach her children to expect to be attacked for their religious beliefs.
lol, seriously, it has nothing to do with their insistence on being ignorant of facts.
then kenn hamm of the creationist museum comes along and says dinosaurs were created on day 6, and proof of dinosaurs living among humans was the tale of st George and the dragon.
goddamn these people are as dumb as a bag of rocks.
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I may be wrong, but it seems to me that “coming out” as an atheist would be similar to coming out as gay.
Christians dislike atheists as much as they dislike gays, in my own experience.
did anyone feel the need to hide it from friends and families?
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That one’s an easy one for me, Dave. Hubby never DID believe, he just went along with my idea (of bringing the kids up in the church) because he had been brought up in the same environment and felt (like me) that it was part of our responsibility as parents.
In fact, we just recently talked about something that happened to him in the mid-80’s. He had been asked to join the Masonic Lodge, and went out to a couple of meetings. He didn’t join and I assumed – at the time – that he hadn’t joined because of the fact that he worked away from home and probably wouldn’t be around for the meetings anyway. I was surprised to learn that, no, that hadn’t been the reason. He told me that one of the things he would have had to do was say that he believed in god. He said he just couldn’t do that, so he figured he wouldn’t make a good Mason.
Just to clarify, I never did refer to myself as a christian. To me, those were people who behaved far better than me. . all I did was TRY. (I admit, I could have tried a lot harder. . .)
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dave, no, my wife did not.
I think it was fear. she didnt even want to discuss it.
Interestingly, she was never as devoted as I was either. never studied as much. it was easier for to skip on occasion, and that was something i had never even considered doing.
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I may be wrong, but it seems to me that “coming out” as an atheist would be similar to coming out as gay.
I don’t advertize the fact because atheists have been so demonized. Though not to the same degree, I’m sure, there are similarities. I’ve equated the two.
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did anyone feel the need to hide it from friends and families?
My family is not terribly religious so I don’t hide it from them. My friends all know that my opinions about certain aspects of Christianity have changed, but I haven’t “come out” to any of them. I’m sure they suspect. I’m probably on every prayer list in South GA.
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Christians dislike atheist more than gays. I’m pressed for time but will post these two articles:
“Belief in God was actually more strongly related to prejudice against atheists than against gay people.”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/unique-everybody-else/201305/belief-in-god-supports-prejudice-against-gays-and-atheists
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-secular-life/201406/why-americans-hate-atheists
To answer Dave’s question. Becoming an unbeliever had a devastating effect on my marriage, which no longer is.
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wow, I can honestly say, I never for once thought about what it would be like to be a christian and then to become an atheist. I guess that’s because I never identified christian.
I can certainly empathize with those that have.
where I live, I’m surrounded by xtains, they are everywhere, and I overhear more atheist hate than I do gay hate.
one thing I do know, keeping secrets like that is very hard and not good for your soul.
best to come out.
LikeLike
one thing I do know, keeping secrets like that is very hard and not good for your soul.
best to come out.
It may be hard but it’s prudent. With the mindsets of many Christians being that we atheists are dishonest and untrustworthy because we’ve sold our souls to the devil, himself, it makes self employment as an accountant…well, who wants a dishonest accountant except at tax time?
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@Carmen – How fortunate for you. Sounds like a good guy.
@Victoria – Very sorry to hear that.
@William
I’m in the same boat. My wife is still a Christian which makes for a very interesting situation. We get along great besides this issue. We have compromised in some areas like church attendance and the whole family goes every other week.
My deconversion was a difficult process for both my wife and myself. I had to resign from a leadership position at our church which made it very public. My pastors would not let me explain to the congregation why I no longer believed, but they were nice enough to read aloud a short letter I had written. We stopped going to that church and have been to several churches since. So we lost contact with a lot of good friends as a result. In some ways I think my wife felt betrayed because she had made a life long commitment to someone that was a believer and now she is married to an unbeliever. I’ve made a point of not trying to convince my wife of what I think and I completely avoid debating religious matters. This has its pros and cons.
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Looking forward to it, KC – be sure and include a link to your blog.
(I don’t want you to know how stupid I am, I didn’t even know you HAD one! – Wait, did I say that out loud?)
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Ruth, that is a very good point.
a lot of the xtians I know, didn’t have nearly as much a problem with me being gay as when i told them i was an atheist.
then the shit hit the fan.
truly, it seems they do feel as if we are completely dishonest, immoral people. which isn’t always the case,
(well, in my case, yes, i am pretty immoral, but, I’m an exception, not the rule.) LOL.
my feeling is this, and it is just my feeling, but i think all gays and all atheists should come out.
it can have it’s difficulties, but in the long run,
those that stand up for who they really are, are the winners.
again, just my opinion.
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Dave, I completely understand. If you’d like to speak in more detail about it, my email is linked to my name – but don’t feel obligated to do so.
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But – but Paul, does that mean you’re not not gonna do it for me, and serve it to me on a platter?!
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Dave, my heart goes out to you. I have read similar – many of them very heartbreaking -stories of ‘unequal yoking’. With all the challenges of marriage, who needs that one? I am sending virtual hugs.
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I am fine with proclaiming my unbelief to family and friends. However, I would advise against doing so in professional circles. It can cost some people clients / customers / employment as Ruth pointed out.
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my feeling is this, and it is just my feeling, but i think all gays and all atheists should come out.
it can have it’s difficulties, but in the long run,
those that stand up for who they really are, are the winners.
again, just my opinion.
I am slowly coming out, as I said. I’m just not shouting it from the rooftops. I’m voicing my opinions contrary to many of the held Christian beliefs. Just in general conversation I’ve “come out” that I subscribe to evolution, feel gay marriage should be legalized [and even polygamy *gasp*], etc. So my views aren’t exactly popular. It’s one thing to disagree about religious issues and another thing altogether to disagree about religion. I do recognize, since I used to be one of them, that their identity is wrapped up in being Christian. So they take it as a personal affront when someone questions that. My identity isn’t wrapped up in being atheist. I just am.
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“goddamn these people are as dumb as a bag of rocks.”
My preferred phrase is “dumb as a bag of doorknobs,” which is why I called Kathy a doorknob early on in Kathy 1.
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Thanks Carmen and William. This all happened several years ago now so it is not nearly as much of a challenge as it once was. It is kind of ironic, but our marriage is healthy, while several christian couples we know are divorcing.
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ARCH, SERVE WHAT ON A PLATTER?
oh, do you mean find Kathy? I’m not looking too hard for her, in fact,
i wasn’t looking for her this time, she just happened to pop up in conversation on another blog about her crooked pastor,
neuro tipped me off:
N℮üґ☼N☮☂℮ṧ says:
September 6, 2014 at 3:56 pm
Welcome back John, and with a bang, might I add. 😉 I see you have posted the very dude that Kathy, over on Nate’s blog, creams in her jeans over. I’ll wager that Kathy is in full support of this narcissist’s latest shenanigans. The guy has for sure gone off the deep end. It may cost him his life. What an idiot. I’m guessing you knew he and his “ministry” was listed by the Southern Poverty Law Center (those damn “liberals”), as a hate group.
anyway, come out everybody and don’t look back.
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Dave,
I’m no help whatsoever in your question about marriage. Divorce was sort of a precursor to my deconversion. My new partner(yes, we are married) is unabashedly agnostic, but he has no desire to even think about or discuss religion. He was raised irreligious and simply has no interest in it.
I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the blog Thoughs from a Sandwich but he’s written a couple of pretty good pieces on the topic. Confessions from a (former) YEC also has a few good posts on the subject as he shares your struggle. He and his wife seem to navigate it beautifully together.
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