I spent a long time as a Christian. I’m able to look back on much of that time very fondly. I loved my fellow brethren, and I truly wanted to learn more about God’s will and do my best to follow it. But there was also a deep fear tied to my belief. I think that’s fairly common among fundamentalists, but it may apply to more moderate Christians as well.
Where did this fear come from? There are certainly a number of passages that talk about God’s love for mankind:
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? – Rom 8:31
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Rom 8:38-39
The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. – 2 Pet 3:9
But despite his love, God can get angry too. And you wouldn’t like him when he’s angry:
For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the evidence of two or three witnesses. How much worse punishment, do you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” And again, “The Lord will judge his people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. – Heb 10:26-31
The scariest thing about this is that facing God’s wrath will be a complete shock to some people. There are those who think they’re doing what God wants, but are completely missing the mark:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’” – Matt 7: 21-23
What if you believe in Jesus and love God, but aren’t doing God’s will? Is your sincerity enough? This was a thought that plagued me when I believed. If some people would get to Judgment Day only to find that they weren’t acceptable, then why couldn’t such a thing happen to me? How did I know my beliefs were the correct ones? My brother and I used to talk about this a lot. Through study, he and I both began to think that a couple of the doctrines we had always been taught in the Church of Christ were incorrect. Coming to that conclusion was extremely difficult. Were we reading and understanding our Bibles correctly?
As an illustration, consider a minor passage: 1 Corinthians 11. The beginning of this chapter says that women should have their heads covered when they pray. But the passage is confusing. Paul says that since women have long hair, they should also wear a covering when they pray or prophesy. He spends several verses giving reasons why a woman should cover her head, but then in verse 15, he also says that her long hair is given to her as a covering. So do they still need a separate one? Most confusing at all, verse 16 says:
If anyone is inclined to be contentious, we have no such practice, nor do the churches of God.
What does that even mean? Does it mean there’s not a practice of being contentious? That sounds like a crazy thing to have to say. So maybe he’s saying that the head covering is not supposed to be a practice if anyone makes a fuss over it. But that doesn’t make sense either. I mean, what other doctrines are given that caveat? Did any of the 10 Commandments have such an escape clause? The whole passage is confusing. What are Christians supposed to do? Either God wants the covering, or he doesn’t, but that passage can be read any number of different ways.
And of course, that’s far from the only vague passage. When you’re raised in a denomination, you’re taught to read the Bible a particular way. “Predestination” means something very different, depending on who you’re talking to. Who’s right? And what if you were raised in one of the groups that thinks they’re right, but to whom God will say “depart from me, I never knew you”? My brother and I realized how difficult it is to unpack all those preconceptions in order to clearly see the scriptures for what they really say. It’s scary.
Here’s the Point
But eventually, I realized that my fear was needless. The Bible says that God is fair, he doesn’t play favorites, he loves us, and he wants us to find the truth. Jesus said “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you” (Matt 7:7). If those things are true, then there’s no reason for us to be so worried about getting it wrong, as long as we’re sincerely seeking the truth.
It’s important to realize how significant that point is. If we’re really looking for the answers, then no question is going too far. So if we dig into the Bible and think “it doesn’t make sense to me that God would send people to Hell,” we shouldn’t run from that thought — we should investigate it. It’s okay for us to ask why God would command genocide in the Old Testament. It’s okay to wonder why he seems so hidden. It’s okay to ask why he would inspire people to write a message, but not protect the originals or ensure its accuracy. If God supports our search for truth, then all of these questions are valid. In fact, the people who pursue these questions obviously take the issue seriously. Wouldn’t that be more pleasing to God than those who never question what they’ve been told?
If you believe in God, then have faith in his character. Have faith in his promises. And take him seriously enough to challenge those who claim to speak for him (the writers of the Bible). Don’t let people tell you that you can’t question God whenever you express doubt about a passage. The Bible is not God. So show God the respect he deserves and critically examine the Bible before you accept the claim that he inspired it. If he’s real, he’ll be much more pleased with an honest seeker than with someone who’s too scared to ask the tough questions.
Finding Truth 
Montana ruined football for me that day – when you’ve seen the best, anything else is a poor imitation.
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Very good points.
Part of my final exit from Christianity was the shock of seeing myself cower from deep questioning.
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Sabio,
That you left Christianity because you cower in fear is your problem, not a problem with Christianity.
The phrase, “Do not be afraid,” is used repeatedly in the Bible because it is the bane of reason and faith.
All your questions have answers. All you need to is give up your fear and start pursuing the answers to your questions.
You can do that simply by asking knowledgeable Christians to address your concerns.
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Yo, SillinessOfMind – I have lots more, if you want them —
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RE: “knowledgeable Christians” – ah, speaking oxymoronically again —
Knowledge – evidence = belief — I’ve yet to meet a “knowledgeable” Christian.
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Having read and reread your post Nate, I am surprised by the logic and reasonableness of it. It sounds much more like the perspective of a deist or struggling theist, than it does an atheist.
Militant atheist seem to suffer from a completely suppressed spiritual faculty. Your spiritual faculty appears quite active Nate. Are you sure that you are an atheist?.
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Far be it from me to answer for Nate (he’s a big boy!), but if I were asked the question (which, admittedly, I wasn’t), I would have to say, no “spirits” equals no “spiritual faculty.”
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Arch,
The Hebrews use “fear God” to mean revere God.
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Arch,
The greatest minds in Western Civilization were Christian.
Isaac Newton for example. Fernando Sor one of history’s greatest classical guitarists, was educated in a Catholic school.
Speaking of great classical guitarists, Christopher Parkening, a devout Christian, was one of the greatest classical guitarists of our time.
You continue to prove that atheists suffer from severe provincialism and religious bigotry.
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Now he’s speaking for 2,000-year old Hebrews! Will wonders ever cease?!
So what you’re saying, is that ancient Hebrews are incapable of saying what they mean – so why should anyone believe anything else they say? When they say you will live forever, how do we know they don’t mean, “Meet you at Walmart, we’ll hang out in the mall!“?
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Isaac Newton was a lifelong virgin, who believed women were nasty, that comets were angels, sent to correct the errant motions of the planets, and spent the last years of his life studying alchemy – yes, he developed the laws of motion, along with several others of his time – that’s what today, we would call a “one-hit wonder“!
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Marc,
The reason a theists or deist struggles is precisely because they are having problems with logic and reasoning.
This post like all atheist literature is a mud soup of sophistry and atheist propaganda, none of which has any relation at all to reason and logic.
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Arch,
No, I’m just stating the facts.
Read them and weep.
Atheists are in the business of being wrong.
Christians are in the business of casting light into the darkness.
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Arch,
Nobody cares about Isaac Newton’s sexual preferences. Well, except maybe you and some other atheist perverts.
Isaac Newton was famous for completely revolutionizing physics and mathematics and melding mathematics to science.
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What would you know about “reason and logic“?
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Oh, I’m sure a psychiatrist would, but I’d stay as far away from them as I could if I were you – the phrase, “funny farm” leaps to mind everytime I see a comment from you.
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Me too, but I use a flashlight and a couple of D batteries – it’s SO much simpler than knocking on doors of people who don’t want to be disturbed, and asking if they’ve heard the “Good News” —
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy those visits – I ask them so many questions for which they have no answers, that they never come back!
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Si, I have to be honest with you, I’m really starting to feel a little guilty about engaging in a battle of wits with an unarmed man.
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Silenceofmind, I have to agree with Arch. And I hate going this route, because it sounds juvenile and argumentative, but this is pointless.
I had originally thought you were someone in the 11th or 12th grade based on how you argued. because of that assumption I was trying to have more patience with you. When you claimed that you made it through grad school I was shocked. of course you could be lying, but at this point i don’t really care.
dodging straight questions and presenting arguments in the way you do is mind numbing. Either you really are a youngster (in which case much of this can be dismissed or overlooked by way of immaturity, et cetera), or you’re a moron, or you’re just screwing around and having a good time – in any event, it’s long since been a waste of time.
So, take care. And Echoing nate; time will tell – i guess we’ll just have to wait and see how it all turns out. There’s no point in having a discussion if it wont be had rationally.
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Nate, There is much misplaced fear of God due to the distortions of His revelations by His enemies. The big lie from the beginning was, “you shall not surely die.” This was manifested in the pagan concepts of a natural immortal soul that led to the lie of eternal torment. The choice for human beings has always been between eternal life and eternal death, not eternal life in paradise or eternal life in torment (see John 3:16 and Matthew 10:28) For those who fear God as a murderer, no one that He has punished in this life has perished. They live on in the spiritual realm, and most of them are now in communion with God and each other awaiting the general resurrection. This is confirmed by the early Church teachings on the Harrow of Hades. To reject the distorted God portrayed by most professing Christians is reasonable. To reject the existence of a Creator as an atheist is not reasonable.
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Marc, I cannot speak for nate, but i wanted chime in on your comment. I think you make good points, but maybe we’re not understanding exactly where one another is coming from.
Belief in a creator can make sense. Everything we see came from something. the more order and the more sophisticated that thing is, the more design and engineering usually went into it – why would we or this world be different? i get that.
Isaac Newton defined gravity for us in natural, physical terms. he didnt see god’s direct hand in it, yet when it came to the celestial bodies in space, he couldnt/wouldnt figure it out and just left that as god holding them in place. But based on his earlier principles of gravity others were able to calculate how gravity also holds those bodies in place – god wasnt doing it, there were natural and physical properties at work. And there are other such examples that could also illustrate how things once believed to be of god could actually be natural, physical properties.
And like our observation and experiences tell us that it makes sense for everything to have a beginning or a designer, our same observations and experiences also tell us that everything has a rational explanation if we have enough time to find it. it has a natural and a physical explanation – not supernatural or divine. correct?
And then if there were a god (and there could be), which one is it? Is there only one? Why would that god(s) not need a beginning if everything else does need a beginning? If god(s) can be eternal, why couldn’t the universe or something else that is natural not be?
I think we get caught up too many times presenting fallacious argument starting points when on this topic: “there is the god of the bible (whether you understand the bible correctly or not), or there is atheism.” This is incorrect and really paints a very obscure picture of reality.
The bible has issues with it. You mentioned hell. the bible says a lot of different things on hell and one of them is eternal torture – and another is the one you pointed out, eternal death. Should we united the two somehow? Are we allowed to choose which we prefer? Or is this one of many indications that the bible (not necessarily the readers of) is flawed and problematic?
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Hi William. I appreciate your points and questions.
As to your point about a rational and physical vs supernatural explanation, any reality outside of time/space would require a supernatural explanation.
I think your questions about the nature of the Creator are sound, and I think Nate’s points about seeking to understand are equally as sound. I have tried to use an apophatic approach that eliminates the concepts that do not appear to be true. The model of the God believed by many early Christians is the one I accept on faith and reason.
Regarding the revelation of the Holy Scriptures, I do not believe these writings are inerrant. However, I believe that they do provide an accurate understanding when they are read in the context of Holy Apostolic Tradition. Outside of this Tradition, they have yielded confusion, and thousands of sectarian groups.
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Marc,
“As to your point about a rational and physical vs supernatural explanation, any reality outside of time/space would require a supernatural explanation.”
But that’s part of my point. Everything we’ve experienced is in both time a space – if it’s real. There could be something else i guess, but that something could as well be anything, not necessarily the subject of a book.
I’ll have to mull over your points on Christianity a bit more. It doesn’t make sense to me, but i am coming from a non-denomination protestant background, and more recently an agnostic atheist mindset, so I will try to toss your ideas around a bit and give time to considering them without dismissing them outright.
Thanks for the reply and for letting butt in on your comment to nate.
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William,
I enjoyed the exchange, and identify with your concerns that led you from a non-denomination protestant to an agnostic atheist mindset. I went through a similar process that led me from a protestant, then deist mindset, to become an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I would hope that your agnostic perspective might give development to deism rather than atheism, because of the points we discussed regarding the Creation and Creator. This also falls in line with the last sentence of Nate’s post regarding an honest seeker.
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Yes, i like deism and have explored it some. I am not turned off to it, but I am skeptical of it – I have this uncertainty that I think best described as agnosticism and maybe even wishful thinking (hoping there is a god or creator who knows me, etc). But I think it’s wishful thinking. I have no recollection of what WAS before I was born, so I imagine that is how it will be when I die. I’d rather that not be the case, but my preferences seem to have little impact on reality.
My departure from faith wasn’t based on wickedness or the desire to sin. It was just the eventuality of assembling the clues i currently had. When I was a christian, i could have said the same thing, so I am convinced that as I learn and as I continue to mature and to evolve, so will my conclusions and convictions. We should grow and change as we accumulate more information.
We’ll be in touch, i’m sure.
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